


Hard Times

by goingtothetardis



Series: A Series of Unfortunate Boners [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Awkward Boners, But my muse is telling me otherwise today, Crack, Episode: s01e14 The Christmas Invasion, F/M, Humor, I can't believe I just wrote this, It's usually not my thing, Missing Scene, Never say no to a triple dog dare, Please forgive me for this crack, Sexual Humor, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6326284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/pseuds/goingtothetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor is having some good dreams during his regeneration coma, and Rose and Jackie are witness to the situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard Times

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caedmon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/gifts).



> Freaking hell. I am sorry. I don't even know what this is. I'm so embarrassed, I want to go hide under a rock the rest of my life. 
> 
> This story is in response to a ficlet prompt on TimePetalsPrompts:  
>  _Christmas Invasion outtake, reblogged from whatwecanfic_
> 
>  _Xmas invasion outtake where the Doctor is having naughty dreams during his regeneration coma. Maybe Jackie and Rose notice some massive time lord sheet tenting._
> 
> Caedmonfaith is a horrible person* and triple dog dared me with one million internet dollars if I included a specific line in this story. She also gets credit for the “boney” line. I am not responsible for this. I’m so, so sorry.
> 
> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> *She's not really horrible.

“Oh my god!” Rose stopped in the doorway to the guest room and stared. The Doctor hadn’t moved an inch since they’d laid him in bed upon their rather bumpy arrival hours ago, and she’d been frantic with worry about his well being. Now, however, he was showing signs of life. 

One particular sign of life.

Prominently. 

Rose failed to tear her eyes from the rather extraordinary Time Lord tent in the middle of the bed as Jackie walked up to her in the doorway. 

“Rose, what’s wr- _Oh my god!_ ” Jackie exclaimed, staring at the middle of the bed. 

Rose quickly pulled her eyes away from the Doctor’s, uh, situation, and glared at her mum. “Mum! Quiet!” She hissed and pushed Jackie back into the hall, face flaming with embarrassment. 

“What? He’s a bit fit, isn’t he? I thought he looked a bit boney.” Jackie threw a sly grin at Rose who groaned loudly and dragged her hands down her face in disbelief. “Nothing wrong with a look-see. ” 

“Mum, he’s _unconscious_! How would you liked it if some bloke stared at me like… Like _that_ if I didn’t know he was doing it?”

“What? ‘S not like you haven’t seen himself like that before.” Jackie shrugged, ignoring Rose’s question.

“I _told_ you, we’re not like that,” Rose growled, her face still bright red. “And besides, this Doctor’s a different man. ‘S not like I would know what this him looked like.”

Jackie scoffed in disbelief, shaking her head at Rose. “I seen the way you two look at each other, Rose. Not possible. Can’t say I’m thrilled with it, my only daughter shaggin’ an alien, but he obviously loves you, an’ I know you love him. And this ‘im, well, you need to hit that like a truck with no breaks.”

Rose stared at Jackie a moment before exploding into laughter tinged with a slightly manic edge. “ _MUM!_ You did _not_ just say that!” She wished the floor would open up and eat her alive. She only hoped the man on the bed, the Doctor, was not able to hear this conversation. This utterly _mad_ conversation. 

“It’s just a simple fact, Rose. We all have needs,” Jackie stated matter-a-factly.

Rose closed her eyes and wished she’d wake up on the TARDIS, the last 24-hours simply a nightmare. But no, that’d be too easy. Instead, her Doctor in leather had exploded in golden light in front of her and had been replaced with this admittedly distractingly pretty bloke who claimed to be the Doctor. And now, her _mum_ was casually discussing her non-existent sex life with the Doctor. _The Doctor!_ She didn’t deny she hadn’t thought about it, frequently, _very frequently_ , within the privacy of her own room, but things were different now. 

A strange man occupied the space once filled by her blue-eyed Doctor, and now was not the time to be thinking such things, especially since she wasn’t quite sure who _he_ was. 

Rose exhaled loudly and turned to Jackie, ignoring her last statement. _Always ignoring that last statement._ “I’m going back in with the Doctor, and you’re not allowed in until I come back out. He trusts me, mum, and I’m not gonna take advantage of him, ‘specially not right now.”

With that, Rose turned and walked back into the guest room, closing the door behind her. She made her way to the Doctor’s side, studiously ignoring the tent in the middle of the bed as she sat down in the bedside chair. 

“What happened back there on the space station, Doctor? In the TARDIS? I need to know what happened. Please wake up,” Rose whispered, brushing her fingers through his fringe and combing them back through his hair. 

At her touch, the Doctor sighed and a tiny cloud of gold particles escaped his mouth and floated away. Rose followed the strange sight with her eyes until they dissipated into nothingness. 

She was jolted back to the present when the Doctor murmured her name with a breathy moan. 

Fuck. Her eyes uncontrollably strayed south down the Doctor’s body, and she saw his cock twitch under the blankets. _Fuck._

He must be dreaming. And her name- _He’d said her name._ A flash of heat sparked down low, and she unconsciously rubbed her thighs together before burrowing her face into the bed next to the Doctor’s pillow and covering her ears with her hands. 

Fuck.

+++

“Rose, I… I have this memory from when I was in my regeneration coma…” the Doctor trailed off, looking expectantly at Rose sitting next to him on the jump seat. 

Oh god. No, please no. She swallowed. “Yes, Doctor?” Rose asked with an air of nonchalance. 

The Doctor briefly closed his eyes before opening them again, looking everywhere but at Rose. “I have this memory, maybe it’s a dream, a nightmare, I don’t know. But did I hear Jackie say, ‘you need to hit that like a truck with no breaks?’”


End file.
